Buddhism is a fascinating spiritual journey that covers everything from being kind to practicing mindfulness and gaining wisdom. There are different flavours of Buddhism, but they all stress the importance of being present and showing compassion. It invites us to dive deep into our minds and hearts, helping us understand ourselves better.
And Brahmaviharas of Buddhism are essential qualities that can seriously help us chill out and get along better with others. These four mind states—loving-kindness (metta), compassion (karuna), empathetic joy (mudita), and equanimity (upekkha)— are like the building blocks for a mindful and satisfying life.
Four Brahmaviharas
Brahmavihara means dwelling place (vihara) of God Brahma, also translated as ‘abode of Brahma’ or ‘divine abode’. In Buddhism, these are the four virtues that form the home of Brahma. And for us, these are the four qualities of our heart that form our best home. And home is where we feel relaxed, most authentic and free from pretences. Home is where your heart belongs. And Brahmaviharas are innate connections that our heart forms with ourselves and with the world around us.
Brahmavihara 1: Metta (love-kindness)
Metta is a profound sense of connection with ourselves and with everyone around us. Also known as Maitri it doesn’t just come from an emotion of liking towards a person but from recognising that everyone deserves to be happy. And this practice always starts with loving yourself and being kind to yourself. Showing yourself the same kindness that you would offer to a loved one. Allowing yourself to fail, not beating yourself for feeling miserable. Embracing your uniqueness, giving yourself a few minutes of rest. Spending time with people you get along with, indulging in your favourite pastime. And most importantly reflect on your feelings, without withholding them or judging them.
Once you have learnt to love yourself, you are ready to pass this kindness on to others as well. You can empathise with their feelings without being judgmental, be open to their stories without any presumptions, and be ready to offer them a helping hand.
Brahmavihara 2: Karuna (compassion)
While Metta is based on sensing that everyone deserves to be happy, Karuna is all about sensing the vulnerability that we all share. It’s not that we all share the same degree of suffering but the fragility and ups and downs of life are true for all of us. In Buddhism, Karuna is the quivering of the heart in response to seeing suffering or pain. And compassion is the ability to acknowledge someone’s pain without judging their situation as insignificant or trivial. It’s a gesture where you start to think if I can be of some help.
To help someone, you don’t have to move into their suffering because that will cause you to burn out. You don’t have to try to take them out of their pain because that might not be possible or they might not need it. You can help them by just being there for them as they need and when they need it.
Brahmavihara 3: Mudita (appreciative joy)
Mudita, also translated as sympathetic joy, is basically the happiness that we experience when we see something good happening to someone else. It’s a feeling which is the exact opposite of envy. Where you don’t get swayed by thoughts like ‘why not me?’, ‘why am I deprived of this pleasure?’ Rather you feel truly happy seeing someone else rising. And that can only happen when you start to see your life as half glass full. Where you start to challenge your thoughts which say ‘I don’t have this’ or even worse thoughts like ‘I have nothing to count for’ or the most common one which says ‘I wish….!’
Wishes take the form of dreams and goals when we approach them with gratitude. But the same wish becomes a never-ending complaint when we stop being grateful for what life has offered us.
Brahmavihara 4: Upekka (equanimity)
Upekka or equanimity is a state of balance during changing events of life. It doesn’t mean that changes won’t affect you, but a voice of wisdom will keep you even-minded in any given situation. For example, you may have huge empathy for someone and you want to do everything possible to make their life comfortable or to help them out in any circumstance. But wisdom tells you that you are not in control, you can’t decide what happens to them or you can’t make their choices. Often this wisdom helps caregivers to prevent burnout for themselves which results from undue expectations.
Our wisdom helps us balance when we have unrealistic ideas of perfection. It keeps us grounded in gains and losses. There would be changes in life and there would be consequences, and our desire to be in control is not going to help. Because we can’t choose how we feel but we can choose how we respond.
The four Brahmaviharas promote self-contentment, positive mindset and emotional well-being. By embracing these qualities we can experience a deeper sense of inner peace and fulfilment. By applying these principles in our daily life we can grow stronger roots of happiness.
"There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path" - Buddha