Can you pass an exam without appearing for it? Can you get an answer without asking a question? Often we face stressful situations where our mind is bombarded with questions like “Will it even work?”, “Can I do this?”, “Will I pass?” And the only answer to these anxious thoughts is: ‘go out and see it for yourself’. Isn’t it? If you want to know how you will perform, you will have to take the test. Is there any other possibility?
Yes, it’s as simple as that. And we all know this already. But then what makes it so difficult to take that first step? Why we tend to escape a tough situation even when we know that the only way, is the way forward.
Fear of Failure
Failure has different meaning to different people. It depends on individual standards, benchmarks and beliefs. My definition of failure is different from your definition. And the cause behind this fear of failure also varies from person to person. In some cases, it’s a result of critical parenting, where anything less than perfect was considered a failure. For such individuals life is all about all-or-nothing. Which means either you get a 100% score or you don’t try at all.
Fear of failure can also be a result of a traumatic experience in the past. For example, let’s say you were to given a speech in your college event and the moment you came on stage you lost your voice looking at the huge crowd staring at you. You failed to deliver. And you were obviously embarrassed. This traumatic memory of the past is still following you today when you were given a critical task of presenting your report to the management. And now you feel that you might lose your voice once again and face the same embarrassment, but this time other consequences will also follow. So now your mind is looking for an escape route.
Fix
Consider the worst possible outcome and come up with a plan to fix it. We usually call it plan B, which is an alternate plan and should be executed when things go wrong with the first one. Plan B is your saviour when anxiety hits you. It eases your mind before such stressful events. Along with keeping an alternate plan, it’s also very important to keep working on your areas of improvements. So keep acquiring new skills, keep practicing more and more and keep expanding your learning curve.
Instant Gratification
Anything worth having requires consistent efforts and patience. And instant gratification is just the opposite of it. It’s basically a trap of short-term pleasure that holds us from moving forward. For example, browsing through social media, binge watching television shows or indulging in unhealthy comfort food. Though these immediate rewards gives us momentarily pleasure, but in the end they leave us more stressed and anxious. We often repent wasting so much time on unproductive activities while we are struggling with our deadlines. Because these momentary delights are actually distracting us from our long-term and meaningful goals.
Fix
Out of sight is out of mind. Keep your distractions away while you are working. Go ahead and make use of technology; there are tons of apps that can track your screen time and send you timely notifications when you are slipping away from your targets. Secondly, stay in the present moment. Be mindful of where you are, what are you working at. Bring your focus on nothing but the present. And most importantly, keep you goal in the spotlight. It’s not a cliche idea to paste your goals on your work desk or a wall where you can see it everyday. In fact it’s very effective in keeping your goals in your focus and distractions at the bay.
Perfectionism
An indisputable effect of perfectionism is procrastination. You want to either do it perfectly or not do it at all. Because for a perfectionist, anything less than perfect is a failure. This urge of doing something in a specific manner is a biggest hurdle in moving forward because such a person would simply keep waiting for the right moment to start. In fact this constant desire for perfection makes it very hard for them to forgive themselves for any mistake. No matter how trivial that mistake might be.
Perfectionism is a goal oriented attitude. While there is nothing wrong with it, in fact it’s good to be driven by your goals. But the problem with the perfectionist mindset is that it cares only about goals and fails to acknowledge the progress. So even though you are actually coming closer to your dream, your perfectionist mind will declare you as a loser.
Fix
Break your gigantic goal into smaller ones. And break those smaller goals again into tinier ones. And remember, a goal is a goal, no matter how small it is. So go ahead and celebrate every win. Give yourself three cheers after meeting every target. Breaking your goal into smaller ones makes your journey progressive, and gives you more victories to celebrate. Not to forget, it builds up self confidence too, because your progress is now measurable. And in the end, these tiny goals are going to add up to your perfect victory.
Analysis Paralysis
Analysis paralysis is when you overthink a problem or analysis a situation so extensively that you end up making no decision at all. It happens when you fear of making mistake while making a decision or are pressurized to look for a super solution. In both the cases you are incorporating so many variable in your research that it get almost impossible to reach to a solution. And you end up spending your time in over analysing rather than taking an action.
Making decisions is hard, specially if you are looking for a perfect solution. It also happens when you have too many options to choose from or if you have too much information in your hand. In such cases making just the right choice can be tough. And especially if the decision you have to take is the crucial one. For example, whether or not to take a new career opportunity. We weigh all pros and cons, consider different opinions, ask for other’s viewpoints, predict possible outcomes, analyse every detail; and finally end up making no decision at all.
Fix
Allow yourself to fail. No matter how much research you may undergo before making a decision, there is no guarantee that it will turn out to be the perfect choice for you. Fear of failure is one of the greatest reason behind analysis paralysis. So always keep yourself ready with a plan B. Secondly, keep a list of priorities handy while making a decision. Because, not every variable is crucial while deciding, there are many factors that can be and should be ignored.
And most importantly, Keep a deadline for making a decision, do not prolong it. And once you have made a choice, there is no looking back. Your analysis must stop right there. There is no point in looking back again and again to see whether the decision you made was a perfect choice or not.
There are times when our mind is filled with self-doubts. Uncertainty of what’s coming next is scary. But keeping an eye on your ultimate goal will clear the path for you. So take one step at a time and keep inching closer to your dreams.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao Tzu