"Life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it" - William James
And to most of us this phrase is generally true when things are going really well. Isn’t it? A life worth living is the one which has a perfect career, loving relationships, fulfilled dreams and accomplishments. A life that gives us what we desire, is a life which is meaningful. Hence, the first thing that we lose in a tragedy is the purpose and meaning of our life.
Tragic optimism is a coping mechanism that teaches us to find meaning in life when things are going haywire. As the name suggests, it is the act of balancing the two most opposites: tragedy and hope.
What is Tragic Optimism?
This concept of Tragic Optimism was defined by Viktor Emil Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist and founder of logotherapy. As per the postscript of his book “man’s search for meaning”; this type of optimism does not hold that everything will always turn out well. Instead, “tragic optimists” believe that life is worth living no matter what, and that one can find meaning even in suffering.
Optimism just like happiness cannot be forced upon. You need a reason to stay optimistic. And the successful search of life’s purpose enables us to maintain hope in the times of despair. It’s entirely opposite to toxic positivity, in fact it is also termed as antidote to toxic positivity. While toxic positivity is an unrealistic expectation to stay positive, no matter how dire your circumstances are. Tragic optimism on the other hand acknowledges the suffering and the pain associated with it. And being tragically optimistic is not to run away from your negative emotions. Instead, validate them and look forward to find a deeper purpose in life.
Tragic Optimism vs Toxic Positivity
Avoiding Emotions vs Emotional Validation
We humans experience a range of emotions. And it’s impossible to always feel happy, especially when times are tough. And a toxic positive attitude insists on staying happy while ignoring the painful emotions. On the other hand, tragic optimism embraces every emotion as is. It’s an approach that accepts every emotion that comes with a troubled time. While this frame of mind validates every painful emotions, it also reiterates the fact that life is much more.
Focus on Positive vs Finding Purpose
In times of suffering, toxic positivity advises us to look at the brighter side. While it is a welcoming thought, but looking for positive doesn’t mean to give yourself a false reassurance. Toxic positivity chooses a denial approach to focus on positives. On the other hand, tragic optimism supports the idea of holding onto hope, to overcome hard times.
How to Practice Tragic Optimism
Validate
Our emotions are associated with everything that we come across in our lives. They are nothing but our natural reaction to what we face. And running away from them is like lying to our own self. So instead of rejecting them, observe them mindfully. To overcome a situation we first need to accept the impact it has on us. We need to let those emotions settle in before we could handle them. Let the grief take its course.
Learn
Have your troubles taught you anything? Did they help you grow? Did they made you a better person? Have you become more patient with yourself and with others? Did you learn something new? Have rejections helped you choose a better path? Ask yourself such questions. Sufferings can be greatest teachers too. So let’s just pay a little attention to what you have learnt from your failures.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude not only makes you grateful toward little things in life but it also helps you appreciate your little accomplishments too. So along with your failures, you could see your achievements too. Every milestones you touched and every setback you conquered. Gratitude is not a false assurance but a realistic hope.
Fresh Perspective
Sometimes, a fresh perspective is all you need. It brings clarity when we lose our vision. A change in perspective can build resilience when we feel like giving up. It helps us to look at solutions that were overlooked before. And even if there is no solution, there could be a learning. Looking things from a different lens can help you come out of a situation when you feel stuck.
Hope for Best and Prepare for Worst
Hope gives you strength in tough times and planning keeps you ready for pitfalls. It’s a ray of light in darkness, it strengthens your efforts. It adds power to your shots. In times of adversities, hope is like a lifeboat that can sail you through. It’s a realistic belief that something better will come up if you don’t stop trying.
Life throws both stones and roses at you. It’s an assortment of all kinds of experiences. And every experience help us evolve and become a better person. So hold on to hope because life is worth it.
“Optimism isn’t a belief that things will automatically get better; it’s a conviction that we can make things better.” - Melinda Gates