"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel" - Maya Angelou
Feelings are unforgettable, whether it’s joy or sadness, they make a deep impression in our memories which is hard to erase. It’s a fact that people forget names, they forget faces but they always remember the experiences they had in the form of their intense emotions.
And we do have an impact on people, which makes them experience certain feelings. Hence, be mindful of how you treat people around you. Remember, everyone’s dealing with their own stuff, and a bit of compassion can brighten them up.
Be the change you want to see
Treat others the way you’d want to be treated; this golden rule applies to how you think, feel and speak in every interaction. You want to be heard, learn to listen; you want help, learn to offer help. And you want people to understand you, try to understand them. Speak the words you want to hear. As ethics of reciprocity suggests that one should reciprocate what they expect to be returned. Hence, respect, compassion, receptiveness, sensitivity, politeness should be a part of our every gesture towards others.
These humane qualities go a long way because their impact is not just limited to your relationships but your whole life. Because the warmth that you are spreading surrounds you as well. And when people return your friendliness, you feel more at peace.
How to be more empathetic
Listen actively
When we are really into conversation, we can truly empathise with the other person. Additionally, active listening opens up the path for honest chats where people can express themselves without worrying about being judged or misunderstood. This creates an environment of trust and safety where feelings can be expressed freely.
To become an active listener, the very first step is to understand how important it is to listen. And then listen with your whole heart. It’s not just about hearing the words, it’s about really soaking in what the other person is feeling and thinking. You’ve got to put in some effort to ditch distractions and pay attention to the speaker.
Look inside
To understand emotions in others you need to understand those same emotions within yourself. You need to let yourself feel every emotion without judging them. Usually in an attempt to stay positive, our first attempt is to reject any emotion that makes us feel awful. But ignoring emotions doesn’t make them disappear but suppresses them. And when you start labelling your own feelings as positive or negative, it automatically reflects in our attitude when we try to understand other’s emotions.
Empathy goes hand in hand with vulnerability. Only those who understand their own vulnerability are able to connect with others. Those who sit with themselves and listen to their own voice only can truly hear emotions in others. Humanity starts with YOU.
See with a different eye
To be empathetic towards a person you first need to understand their perspective. When you place yourself in their shoes and view the world through their eyes, you build understanding and trust among each other. Everyone has their own story, which can only be perceived when you leave behind your own presumptions and beliefs.
Empathy is also an ability where you can feel their pain. Without judging their situation as insignificant or trivial; you simply acknowledge that they are in pain and need someone to hold onto. We humans need to share our joys as well as sorrows. That’s why we all need meaningful relations in life. Empathy is one of those fine qualities that makes our presence meaningful in the life of our loved ones.
Be thankful
When you receive a gift, think about the very thought behind those gifts. Pay attention to the very details and the efforts someone has put in there. Think about the people who take care of you, and why are they doing so. Whether they are part of family or part of community, think about how they put efforts in giving you a comfortable life.
When we express our thankfulness to people who care for us, we send them a message that they are valued. There is no right or wrong way to express gratitude. Important is to notice and to keep reminding yourself of the graces and blessings you have in your life.
You have to be the person the kind you want to surround yourself with. Only thing you have complete control over is your own behaviour. So, spread the emotion that you yourself want to experience.
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - Dalai Lama