Mind wanders. That’s it’s nature. On some days it clings us to the past, whereas on the others, it makes us anxious about the future. Our thoughts are scattered everywhere except for where they should be. Which is, this very moment. Here and Now. And our mind is everywhere, just not in our present.
And to live in the moment, first allow yourself to let go. Because as long as you hold onto to your past and await your future; you can never be with your present.
Let go of painful memories
And that doesn’t mean those memories will be erased completely. That can not happen. Whatever has happened has been registered and can not be altered. Which means you will still remember that but the pain of that hurt would be much lesser. And it will gradually fade away. Letting go is a realisation that what has happened in the past is NOT happening to you right now. It’s an awareness that you have evolved so much since then. Letting go is a chance that you give to your present to built a future. It means you are ready to embrace what’s ahead.
Letting go of past is a process. And what makes it difficult is our unresolved emotions. Those emotions that needs to be addressed and processed. You can’t simply shun your emotions and hope for your suffering to end. You shall have to let the grief take its course. And while doing that keep your mind and heart open to what life has to offer next.
If the painful memories of past are hurting your present, then it’s time to let them go.
Let go of glorious past
“Back in those days, hiking was my favorite sport but now I hardly get any time. I feel terrible!”; “It’s been ages since I hit the dance floor, I was so fun back then. My life today is so boring”; “Me and my friends would hang out to this cool place every friday, but now I am stuck in this robotic routine”. Our past is full of delightful memories. And as long as these memories fill your heart with joy, they are worth remembering. But if they make you feel terrible like in above examples, then it’s better to let them slip of your mind.
It’s time to make new impressions. Discover a new hobby that fits in your current routine. Accept the fact that everything that you have done in the past is not feasible today; but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with something else. Your past was awesome and so is your present. So be proud of what you are and can do today. Stay with your present and make it as beautiful as your past. Try something that you have never done before and see how amazing that turns out to be.
If glories of your past are undermining your present self, then it’s time to let them go.
Let go of attachments
“Non-attachment is not the elimination of desire. It is the spaciousness to allow any quality of mind, any thought or feeling, to arise without closing around it” – Stephen Levine
When attachments cloud our mind and forbid us from seeing clearly, they should be unleashed. Whether you are attached to someone or something, if that’s the sole parameter of your self worth then it’s unhealthy. Sometimes we get attached to our beliefs or perceptions about how things should happen or how people should behave. This blocks us from accepting any outcome which is different from our expectation and from realising the individuality of a person. When we get attached to our job titles or status, we forget that our self worth is much beyond these labels. As a result, we close our mind to the endless possibilities that we are capable of achieving.
Unhealthy attachments forges fear of losing. They bind us to the comfort zone limiting us to see things above and beyond. We began to determine our self worth through our relationships, desigations, possessions. We began to seek approval from others. And fail to realise the absolute beauty of our uniqueness.
If your attachments are blocking your path forward, then it’s time to let them go.
Let go of what you can’t control
There are things beyond our reach, things we have no control over. And don’t we spend a lot of time worrying about them? Rarely do we realise that no matter how much energy we might put into such things, nothing is going to change. Because we have absolutely no power over them. Life is filled with such things. And if you shift your perspective just a little, you would realise that since you can’t do anything about it; it’s actually one less thing to worry about!
So instead of focusing on what you can not control, put your strength into what you CAN. It is much more effective. When you focus on controllable, you basically work towards solutions. You take necessary actions. And that is the only way to improve the situation you are in.
If you are trying to control things beyond your reach, then it’s time to let them go.
Learning to let go and be with your present moment in the core principle of mindful living. It’s human to feel attachment and mindfulness is a practice that make us feel less controlled by them. So that we can let go and create space for something new that our present has to offer.
“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” - Jack Kornfield