What is the very first thing you do after getting up in the morning? Pick up your smartphone and check work emails? And what after? You possibly start to think about your next action. Correct? As many emails you read, as many action plans start to pop up in your mind. And how many action plans do you actually execute right after you get out of bed? One? Two? None? Because obviously you can’t get it all done right away, they are supposed to be done from your work desk. Isn’t it? So basically even though you aren’t physically at your work desk but your work hours have already begin. Right after you wake up to a new day!!

This is just one example of how the boundaries of our personal and work lives dissolves. We all have multiple roles to fill in. And the more these roles overlap, the more strain it brings to our relationships. That is why it is even more important to make distinctions. Be present in the moment.

How mindfulness improves relationships

You are present in the moment

It’s highly frustrating talking to people who are paying just half attention, and rest of their mind is in their own world somewhere. Just try and put yourself in their place and ask yourself. Can you have a meaningful conversation with a person who keeps checking phone intermittently? And that is why you need to practice mindfulness, not just with yourself but with others around. Mindfulness enables an autopilot mode in your mind and brings you back to the present moment whenever your mind starts to wander.

You are more aware of self and your loved ones

Being mindful deepens your understanding of your own thoughts and emotions. You start to understand when you act out and why you do so. In the same manner, this practice helps you to be aware of your loved ones too. How they feel and how they react. This breaks your own temptation of overreacting and makes you more perceiving.

You communicate more effectively

With your all senses at work you can communicate beyond words. You aren’t just listening to what others say but also observe their body language parallely. This helps you to understand their current emotions. For example, are they excited about something or worried? Likewise, you are able to share your own story effectively too. And that is how you both become more open to each other and your relationship more connected.

You can look at the world from their eyes

If you want to know how someone feel, just ask. You might think about a situation familiar to you already, because you have been there too. However, everyone perceives and act differently, even in similar situations.. Mindfulness helps you to realize this simple fact. You tend to look at the situation from their eyes, and thus you can sense what they are going through. Or at least try to. By doing so you will realise that you need not to offer support every time. Sometimes, all you need is to just be there.

You are empathetic towards others

Mindfulness helps you to approach others non-judgmentally which makes your approach towards others more empathetic. It helps you to understand their emotions better and are able to have positive conversation. This non-judgemental approach controls your desire to be reactive. Rather, it facilitates compassion.

How to separate work and relationships

Erect gates in mind

When leave you for work, you cross the first gate in your mind. Here, you leave your personal life behind and move towards your professional life. The commute from home to office should be the transition. And the moment you reach your work desk you have stepped into the third gate. Now your complete focus is at work. Just like that, at the end of the day you make another transition, which is from office to home. And the moment you reach the final gate of your home, your work is already left behind. Now, you are a family person.

Prioritise and re-prioritise

The best and only way to understand your priorities, is to list them. Note down everything which is significant to you and rank them. Arrange then from most significant to the least. Review this list regularly as priorities keep changing. This handy list will make sure you don’t leave anything significant for the last minute which might eat up your time for yourself.

Create a schedule and stick to it

Have a schedule for the week (including weekend). Break it down to daily schedule and keep it somewhere so that it’s always visible to you. You can paste it on you work desk, or your refrigerator. Basically, choose any place where you spend most of your day. And most importantly, stick to it. Well, a few slips here and there are okay, but if you could keep up with your schedule you will end up with a productive and contented week. Additionally you will have a clear idea of how to factor your errands into your schedule.

Set boundaries

Handling multiple responsibilities is demanding, and that is why it’s essential to have certain boundaries set. Avoid working on weekends and even if you have to, try to set working hours that work with your personal life. Furthemore, if you work from home, try to have a designated areas for work where you can work without distractions. Additionally, if you keep getting calls from office at non working hours, maybe it’s time to convey your boundaries politely. Likewise, make your family understand to not disturb you at work with non-emergency family issues.

Set fixed time

Go to and leave work at the same time everyday. You should know when your work day begin and end, else it will always interfere with your personal life. If you are working remotely then it’s even more important to fix your working hours. Choose realistic hours based on your personal commitment and stick to them. And most important of all, keep a specific window for social media, instead of mindlessly scrolling all the time. This habit of staying online throughout the day waste more productive hours than you might have imagined.

Limit distractions

While working from home, make sure you don’t do any house chores during office hours. In the same way, don’t do any online shopping for home while sitting in your office. And finally when you are at home with your loved ones, control the temptation of checking your office emails. Put off notifications in your phone and keep it away when you are with your family or friends. Distractions makes things go out of order, so avoid them.

Limit discussion about work at home

Just like thinking about personal life hampers your productivity at work. In the same way, thinking about work while at home takes our personal life away. Keep your focus at your folks when you are with them. Try to avoid work related discussion as much and have more conversation about your life outside your work.

Unplug

When you are with your loved ones, just switch the screen off and focus on real conversation. These conversations are unfiltered and genuine. Life in actual is happening right in front you and these moments are not going to come back. And if you keep looking at your screen then you will miss them all out.

Let go of perfectionism

There will always be few slips here and there. On some days you’ll miss a few deadlines, and on others, these boundaries will blur. And that’s okay. Don’t penalize yourself for missing out on a few things. Focus on what you can do next. No one can do everything right evrytime, so let go of perfectionism and settle with ‘good enough’.

---

Finding your balance is a continuous process. We all have a need to reach to our highest potential and as well as have meaningful relationships. And the key is to create compartments in mind.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein