"Before you finish eating breakfast in the morning, you've depended on more than half the world." - Martin Luther King Jr.
There are a lot of ‘self‘ terms in psychology; self-esteem, self-worth, self-care, self-love and nonetheless self-reliance, a concept of focussing on your own strength and building up confidence. But this concept is often confused with self-sufficiency; and people start to think that being self-reliant means acting like a lone wolf, who doesn’t need anything or anyone.
Living a self-sufficient lifestyle is pretty much impossible because we all rely on different systems and resources; that are woven into our everyday lives. Sure, the idea of being completely independent sounds cool; but it overlooks the importance of relationships and our environment.
Self-reliance does NOT mean
Doing everything by yourself
Self-reliance doesn’t make you a one-man army. While it does emphasise the importance of trusting your own abilities. But at the same time, it also means that you do recognise when to seek help. Self-reliant people don’t do everything by themselves, instead, they collaborate with others to navigate their challenges more effectively. They understand that asking for help is not a weakness; but a smart move towards achieving greater independence and success.
Not asking for advice
Again, reliance is really about knowing what you are good at and trusting your gut. But that doesn’t mean you should not and can not ask for advice. A self-reliant person is always on the lookout for new knowledge; and picking up lessons from different situations and different people. And they integrate these lessons to enhance their own capabilities. It is important to recognise that even the most self-sufficient individuals can benefit from the experiences of those around them. By consulting with mentors or friends, you can gain valuable insights for your decision-making. This combination of self-reliance and openness to advice fosters personal growth.
Devoiding social connection
Self-reliance doesn’t make you distant from social connections. After all, we’re all social beings who thrive on interaction. You can totally have your independence and still enjoy a vibrant social life. Because connecting with family, friends and the community makes our lives richer. Friendships create a sense of belonging and security; showing us that real strength lies both within us and in our relationships with others. So while we’re busy building our own skills we also value our lives with others; forming a solid network of support and understanding that helps us along the way.
What exactly is self-reliance
Not relying on validation
A self-reliant person does not rely on validation; instead, they build their own confidence to make choices that match with who they are. This independence helps them tackle life’s ups and downs with a strong spirit; knowing they don’t have to let other’s opinions define their worth. Because their sense of self does not depend on what others think about them. They do not fear to chase what they really love instead of just following the crowd.
Self-acceptance
Self-reliance is all about accepting who you really are and recognising those unique traits that make you stand out. When you get to know yourself, you make choices that resonate with what you believe in. Embracing who you are, gives you the power to handle life’s twists and turns. Being self-reliant means keeping it real about our strengths and flaws, which sets the stage for personal growth and bouncing back when things get rough.
Not engaging in people pleasing
Self-reliant individuals don’t need people pleasing to climb up the ladder. Because they have true confidence in their abilities. They focus on honing their own skills that are necessary for success; and consistently seeking opportunities for self-improvement. Rather than bending to the expectations of others, they establish genuine relationships based on mutual respect and shared values.
Believe in I am and I can
A self-reliant person vibes with the idea of “I am” and “I can.” They understand that who they are and what they can do, work together. This mindset helps them feel independent and confident; knowing that their thoughts and actions only can shape their lives. It’s all about setting goals, tackling problems head-on, and dealing with whatever life throws their way. With a solid sense of self, they don’t get knocked off course by what’s going on around them; instead, they lean into their own inner strength and determination to chase after their dreams and make things happen.
While aiming for self-sufficiency can boost our independence a bit; the truth is that nobody can go it alone in a world; where working together and relying on each other is the key.
"Be around people who can keep your energy and inspiration high. While you can make progress alone, it's so much easier when you have support." - Dr. Joe Vitale
2 responses to “Understanding the myths of being self-reliant”
Wonderfully articulated article, Meenu Ji. As always. One of the important aspects for me vis a vis self-reliance is to look after my health myself. Thiis has been my commitment to myself for decades. Heavy responsibilities rest on my shoulders and I have taken on these responsibilities on my self. With responsibilities of a career over, with commensurate collection of sufficiently large wealth for self and family, my focus for decades has been to give back to the younger generation. For that, I must be healthy myself. And I do that – religiously, with a focussed approach, dedication, devotion. So I take care of my health and continue to strive towards perfectionist service to the younger. The answer to what I can do has always been give back to the country. I am not a soldier to stand on the borders with a gun to do that. So, for decades my chosen path has been to train, teach and mentor the students, younger chefs. I am sanguine that through this deep-purpose led approach, I serve the industry that has nurtured me and my family through me, and is the right path for a civilian to serve the country. The self-determination can and must come at every stage of life. I have taken the liberty to copy the article word-by-word and will study it again. This is a wonderful and pleasant start to my working day, as it is not yet five in the morning. Warm Regards
Thank you for taking the time to read and like my article. I’m glad it resonated with you 🙂