“Don’t be too hard on yourself”. Familiar, right? We often give this advice to our loved ones, but when it comes to us, no one can beat us in finding fault in ourselves. It is not easy for us to embrace our imperfections. We just want to be flawless. But does this continuous denial of self help us advance? Instead, it leave us obsessing over our shortcomings. Self-acceptance on the other hand brings in a sense of worthiness because we recognise every aspect of SELF without being judgemental.

Self-acceptance is accepting yourself the way you are with all your strengths and weaknesses. It’s a celebration of your own individuality, your own uniqueness. In fact, it’s the most crucial step towards your well-being. Because, it’s a realistic understanding of your qualities, emotions, goals and apprehensions. Self-acceptance leads to a positive attitude, sense of worthiness, assertiveness, peace with oneself and to a happier SELF.

How can you enhance your self-acceptance

Don’t label yourself

Your job title, beliefs, competencies and inexperience is what you do, what you prefer, what you can and can not do. They don’t define who you are. You are much above and beyond these labels. These labels don’t determine what you can do and what you can achieve. It’s your focus, your temperament and your zeal which determines. Labels on the other hand would create a boundary around you, limiting you. But once you choose to move out of them, you would realise what a huge potential you’ve got.

Learn to forgive yourself

We all make mistakes. Sometimes it’s a judgemental error, sometimes a careless slip and sometimes a mere confusion. And there are times when there is no U-turn from the choices we made. That is exactly where guilt strikes, followed by blame. Making mistakes is fine, but carrying the guilt forever is not. Your mistakes are not a sign of your incompetence. There could have been multiple reasons behind that decisions you made. So move on and add that experience to your learnings. And even if there wasn’t any learning, tell yourself it’s okay to be naive and forgive yourself.

Separate yourself from your emotions

You are not impulsive, coward or quitter. You simply feel anger, fear and disappointment. Just like your mistakes, your emotions don’t define you. Emotional states are short-term, based on temporary situations. When you separate yourself from your emotions, you understand that this grief or regret that you feel is bitterness. You are not bitter. Likewise you are simply proud of your accomplishments, you are not arrogant.

Stop Overthinking

Don’t think too much about what you can and can not do. One key step towards self acceptance is to not over analyse your skills and limitations. Do try to make best out of any and every opportunity given to you, but without dwelling into what happened in past. Just because you weren’t able to achieve something in past doesn’t mean you can’t do it now. You have grown since then, you have learned more, have acquired more experience and skills. So leave what has happened and move on. Thinking too much will only interfere with problem solving.

Don’t live to prove yourself

Spending your life trying to live up to others expectation is nothing but a waste of the beautiful life you have. You don’t need others to validate you, you know your own worth. It’s not possible to work towards being liked and accepted by everyone, you have your own dreams to fulfil. Just like that, you can’t always worry about impressing others, you have your own quest of happiness. So forget about what people think of you and focus on what you think of yourself. Because it’s YOU who is in the cockpit of your life.

Move on from failures

Failures hurt and it’s okay to feel disappointed after a setback. What’s not okay is to make it personal and to hold onto it. Everyone hates failures but they are inevitable. You can’t always avoid them but what you can do is to separate your worth from your unsatisfied aspirations. So stop calling yourself incompetent, unworthy or unfit; instead learn, adapt and try again with a more realistic approach. Yes, not every dream turns to reality but that should not stop you from day dreaming.

Focus on your strengths

Silence the critic inside you and look at your merits. Your strengths are going to take you closer to your goals; criticism on the other hand will dishearten you and weaken your efforts. Your strengths aren’t just performance related, it’s also how you think and feel. All of your qualities that makes you unique, dependable and countable. Recognise and appreciate them. You are good enough already, work on being a better version of yourself.

Self Awareness

Self awareness is to perceive yourself as an individual, separating yourself from what you do, what you believe, what you feel and what you think. It’s being mindful of the fact that you are not your thoughts, you are the one observing them. It’s about accepting your emotions and not denying them. Identifying your emotional trigger and regulating them. It’s a rendezvous with self without being judgemental. It’s bringing your attention inwards and see yourself rising.

Embrace your uniqueness

Everyone is special in their own way, and so you are. You have your own identity, your own worth. Take a closer look at yourself and what defines you as an individual. What makes you different, what makes you YOU. Playing versatile roles in life, being part of various groups, you are your own-self. Let you energy flow towards your best self. Embracing your individuality will give you a sense of higher self-esteem. And with this uplifted confidence you can create your own magic!!

Set goals for yourself

Your goals help you become what you want to be in life. In your journey towards self improvement, your goals keep you focussed. They measure your efforts and when you achieve them, you feel more confident and even more inspired. Important is to set realistic goals, being mindful of what you really aspire. Not simply following a path that someone else has been through. Yes it’s good to be inspired by what others have accomplished, but you have to define your own success. Create a step by step plan towards your ambitions, a plan which is customised to your own specific and distinctive objectives.

Don’t compare yourself

Comparing yourself with others is the most mean act towards yourself. This will only lead you towards unhappiness. Everyone has their own journey and their own story behind what you see from outside. Comparison will only gave birth to scepticism, jealousy, despair and frustration. It only creates a doubt inside you, a sense of ‘not good enough’ or ‘not blessed enough’. Comparison hardly builds motivation, instead keeping you goals visible to you all the time would keep you motivated.

Be kind to yourself

Show yourself the same kindness and warmth that you would show to a loved one. Be understanding towards your imperfections, be supportive in your hardships, be compassionate towards your emotions. Be patient in your process of learning. Send yourself gentle and encouraging messages. Give a pat on your back for trying and celebrate every victory of yours no matter how big or small. Admire yourself for reaching where you are today and inspire yourself to thrive more.

Stop trying to be perfect

You can’t be a master of everything, you need to learn to let go of some things. This pursuit of perfectionism is unreachable and eventually will burn you out. It won’t let you make mistakes, won’t accept anything that is less than perfect and would leave you dissatisfied no matter how hard you might have tried. So put your efforts and energy in becoming better rather than perfect.

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Self-acceptance is the unconditional love toward self and embracing every aspect of your individuality.

- "you are the most deserving of your love" -