We all have moments of self-doubt, times when negativity sneaks in. When we make second guesses about our abilities and start to question our efforts, this mindset can come from various places: pressure we feel from society or high expectations that we set for ourselves. And when these negative thoughts take up most of our headspace, our outlook becomes pessimistic.
This pattern of negative thoughts which stuck us in an anxiety loop, involves the presence of 3 Ps. And those three P’s of negative thinking are: personalisation, permanence and pervasiveness.
Personalisation
This kind of negative thinking involves taking everything personally without considering other possibilities. For example, when a colleague isn’t paying attention to what you said, you might think “They aren’t interested in what I want to share”. Instead of recognising that they might be distracted by their own workload or personal issues; you spiral into a mindset where their lack of attention feels like a personal affront. Similarly, when a loved one does not take your call, the immediate assumption could be “They are ignoring me”. However, there might be numerous reasons behind their unavailability; such as being preoccupied with other responsibilities experiencing a hectic day, or even managing their own emotional challenges.
It’s crucial to remind ourselves that other’s actions often reflect their situations and not our worth. What others do usually says more about their own stuff than about us. If we can shift our mindset to be more understanding instead of assuming the worst; we can come out of this trap of negative thinking. Please remember, it’s not always about you.
Permanence
Permanence: this is permanent, a distorted belief that any adversity is everlasting and unchanging. This negative thinking makes us feel like the challenges we’re facing will just drag on forever, weighing us down with a sense of hopelessness. It forbids us from seeing that tough times are usually just temporary. When we get hooked up on the idea that our struggles will never end, we miss the fact that we’ve got the ability to change things up; both in ourselves and our lives.
Let’s remember that even the darkest storms eventually pass, letting the sunshine back in. Each hardship carries with it the growth potential. And as we acknowledge that we can face our difficulties with renewed strength. Instead of succumbing to despair, we must remind ourselves that brighter days lie ahead. When we realize that change is part of life, we can open ourselves up to all kinds of new opportunities, helping us grow along the way.
Pervasiveness
Whenever something goes wrong in one part of someone’s life, negative thinkers tend to think it’s going to mess up everything else too. This kind of thinking turns a small hiccup into a huge disaster in their mind. For instance, if they hit a bump in their job, they might start believing that nothing is going right for them. “I couldn’t do well in my job. I am incapable of taking care of myself as well as my loved ones.” This way of thinking projects their disappointment into other areas. No matter if it’s their relationships or health, they connect everything. This only makes them feel worse, trapping them in a cycle of negative thinking.
When we’re stuck in a loop of bad thoughts, it’s tough to notice the good stuff happening around us. It’s important to take note of all the good things around you, however small they may seem. These little things remind us that life isn’t just about the tough times. When we take a moment to notice the tiny glimmers of life we’re opening ourselves up to a much better vibe. This habit can slowly change how we think, helping us feel more grateful and appreciative of the world around us, and in the end, it boosts our overall outlook on life.
Having a negative thought isn’t a big deal, as long as we take a moment to challenge them. By questioning these thoughts and looking at the evidence for and against them, we help ourselves escape the overthinking trap.
"When I have these negative thoughts and feelings, I like to dig into them because I like to get under them and see what's in there." - Baron Vaughn