Fear of missing out, commonly called FOMO, is a feeling or rather a perception that others are living a better life than us. Proverb “grass is greener on the other side” is the perfect example of such a mindset. Where a person is always tempted by the things others have. It’s a deep sense of envy and a persistent thought that something fundamentally important is missing from our lives. It could result from missing out an information or a memorable experience, not being a part of a gathering or a conversation, missing out on a TV show or a profitable investment.
FOMO is something that almost everyone of us has experienced at some point in our life. Still, there is a segment who is more vulnerable to this phenomenon. People with unchecked ego, codependency issues, lack healthy relationships and social comparison bias are a few examples.
Understanding FOMO
FOMO is derived from self determination theory which suggests that all humans have three basic psychological needs—autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
- Autonomy – need to have choice and control of one’s life.
- Competence – need to gain mastery and effectiveness in one’s activity.
- Relatedness – need to feel connected and a sense of belongingness with others. This innate desire of social connection can cause FOMO.
Human beings have natural need for interpersonal connections and a desire to belong to something greater than themselves. When people, lack such connection, they feel emotional distress. FOMO is such a negative effect resulted from unmet social needs. It may occur as an occasional feeling, or a long-term state of mind that leads to the feeling of loneliness and inferiority.
Social Media and FOMO
FOMO has become increasingly common since the emergence of social media. But why is social media such a significant factor that drives FOMO? The answer is in the reward system. There are two things that drives human actions; necessities and rewards. Reward is that feeling of pleasure that motivates us to engage in a particular behaviour. And for social media world, the rewards are number of likes, comments, follow and positive feedbacks. It fulfills our desire to be seen and to be liked. So we want to that again and again.
This desire to attract higher likes and engagement leads to frustration when we fail to achieve so. Thus, posts become highly edited and filtered version of reality. Social media influencer set a high bar with their content to build audience. In fact, FOMO is a big reason people choose to follow influencers – they do not want to miss out.
FOMO and Well-Being
People experiencing FOMO are always anxious about missing out on something fun or something important. Which bring their focus away from present moment. Excessive worrying of what others are doing cause people to miss out even more in their lives. This leads to feeling of inadequacy which again results in low self-esteem, loneliness and even isolation.
Another consequence of FOMO is productivity loss. This constant comparison is not only overwhelming but also distracting. It bring our focus outward instead of inwards. Our brain can process a limited amount of information. That’s why when we feed it with more information than it can handle, it results in information overload. As a result, it makes more errors in multitasking and gets less creative in problem solving.
How to Minimize FOMO
Embrace JOMO – Joy of Missing Out
JOMO, the antidote of FOMO means to enjoy what you are doing in every moment rather than worrying about what others are upto. It’s a phenomenon where instead of feeling depressed for missing on a fancy dinner; you utilise your time watching a movie that you have been longing to see. JOMO does not promote social isolation, rather it promotes mindfulness which inspires you to bring your focus to here and now. There would always be something better to do, what matters is that you enjoy this moment of yours without guilt.
Digital Detox
Constant connectivity to social media feeds to FOMO. Try digital detox which is setting up a timespan where you minimise use of social media. You may even opt to disconnect completely. Temporary uninstall apps, set daily time limit on app usage. You may also set a downtime on your gadgets for certain time of day.
Focus on Real Connection
Invest your time in relationships that holds significance in your life. Majority of our social media friends do not belong to the list of our meaningful relations. So instead of browsing through their updates, plan a outing with your loved ones. Or if you don’t have time for face to face meetings, try to be in touch through messages or calls. These genuine relations are extremely important for our mental and emotional well-being.
Create a Journal
Instead of posting on social media, make a personal journal of your best memories. Whether you make it on paper or use a software , it’s completely personal choice. But this journal will shift your focus from seeking approval of others to one’s own appreciation of all the good things in life.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is more or less opposite of FOMO. While FOMO is the feeling of emptiness for all the good things you have missed; gratitude is a feeling of gratefulness towards all the good things you have. Practicing gratitude, it will lift up your spirits. Because when you are focussed on all the great things you already have, you mind can hardly think about what you are missing on. That ways gratitude helps you overcoming FOMO.
FOMO like any other thought pattern, can be controlled. Redirect your focus to your present. Notice the little sparks of joy which your life is filled with.
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." - Steve Furtick