We all have little to some experience for first-aid. And it’s considered so important that we also teach these skills to our kids at school. We are very well aware of the painkillers and antiseptic lotions that can help us heal our physical self. And what about our emotional side? What happens when the hurt is not physical but emotional?
Since we don’t know what to do with these painful emotions, we either push them away or get ourselves trapped in a spiral loop of negative thinking. Little that we realise that it’s essential to heal our mind as much as our body. Emotional healing is as important as the physical one, and we all need it.
What is emotional healing?
Just like our physical body needs healing after painful injury, our emotions needs the same handling after a painful experience. Leaving a wound unattended won’t heal it, in fact it may worsen. Likewise ignoring painful emotions won’t let them vanish, rather they shall be suppress deep inside harming your overall well-being. Emotions rising after a hurtful experience needs to be addressed, acknowledged and processed. And emotional healing happens when you learn to accept your emotions instead of controlling them.
It’s a common tendency to ignore painful emotions in hope to minimise pain. But in actual this ignorance delays the process of emotional healing. Yes, healing takes its own time thus it can’t be rushed. It may be longer or shorter than you expect it to, but if you allow yourself to process it, you shall be able to regulate your emotions well. Emotional healing involves, empathy, self-compassion, mindfulness and acceptance. The process of healing might look different for different people but at the end the feeling of lightness is common to all. And thus emotional healing is equally important for everyone.
Why is emotional healing important?
Break free from pain
"When emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. We have to feel it to heal it." - Susan David
Since we don’t know how to tackle painful emotions, we try not to feel them. Assuming that ignorance would lessen the pain. But instead these pent up emotions just gets stronger harming you insidiously. That’s why to heal from pain you need to first acknowledge it. Your pain is not going to fade away by simply ignoring, it will eventually come up. And you will have to deal with it then, so why not now? Processing your emotions will eventually heal your emotional wounds and break you free from pain.
Regain your power back
Often our past experience changes our outlook towards life in general. We let our history influences our decision of present and definition of future. Memories of past refrain us from utilising our full potential or try out new experiences. Emotional healing helps us to drop the baggage of past and look forward to future with a fresh perspective. Once you have healed yourself, you would come back with a new confidence in your abilities. Whether it’s a new job or new relation, your past won’t hold you from taking the step forward. Once you have taken enough time to acknowledge, accept and process your emotions, you would have the courage to pursue what lies ahead.
Boost self-esteem
Emotional healing is a transformative experience. Once you are able to regulate your emotions you come up wiser and stronger. You attain maturity in various dimensions of mental and emotional health. The whole experience is reforming. And most importantly, it gives you your power back. So now you are not controlled by those painful memories. Rather you are the one is on the driving seat now. A new person with an improved self-image and self-esteem. But it all starts with release of troubling emotions.
Strengthen relationships
People who struggle with their own emotions also struggle to articulate themselves and communicate their feelings to others. This makes conversations difficult and cause misunderstanding and mistrust. On the other hand if you have learnt to regulate your own difficult emotions, you can approach other person with empathy and compassion. The same compassion that you offered to yourself in your healing journey. We need to understand our own emotions before we even try to understand what others feel. And only when we have learnt to heal our own pain, we can help them to come out of theirs.
Build resilience
Disappointment, pain, setbacks and the overwhelming emotions caused by them are not easy to handle. And emotional healing helps you build the resilience that you need in adversities of life. As an individual goes through difficult emotions of a trauma they learnt the art of remaining flexible in their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors when faced with life disruptions. Whether its a loss of job or loss of loved one, they would recover and return back to their original path and bring down the impact of distressing event on their mind and body.
How to find emotional healing
Take help
Social support play a crucial role in emotional healing. Allow yourself to confide in a loved one. Talk to your family, friend or a therapist. Do not restrain in expressing your emotions in front of people you trust. Let yourself be vulnerable. Let them take care of you emotionally, mentally and physically. Be open to receive their support. Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness, rather it’s one of your greatest strength.
Practice mindfulness
As long as we let our past keep appearing in front of us, we won’t heal. Mindfulness not only keeps you in the present, but also reassures that you are fine at this moment. Mindfulness also enhances our self-awareness, allow us to feel the presence of our thought and feelings. Acknowledging anxious feelings is uncomfortable but understanding and accepting them is extremely important in our healing journey. And the key elements of mindfulness is observing non-judgmentally. Which means we can look inside without feeling guilt or blaming ourselves. This non judgemental approach let us observe and learn our genuine intentions. And then we can begin to transform ourselves through our recovery.
Move your body
Exercise helps in releasing pent up emotions. It not only distracts us from negative thoughts but also releases happy hormones in our brain. And as a result we feel better. It doesn’t matter if you are outdoor or indoor, just move your body as it wants to be moved. Choose any physical activity that motivates you to get out of your bed. Give yourself those 30 minutes which shall engage your whole body and take your mind off worries.
How to know that I am healing emotionally
– You are able to sleep peacefully through the night. And you don’t even find it hard to make yourself fall asleep.
– You are pursuing your forgotten hobbies again and looking forward to engage in activities that you used to enjoy.
– You are open to meet people, be a part of social gathering. But at the same time you are at peace when you are alone with yourself.
– You are ready to take up new challenges and try out new experiences.
– You have started to indulge your five senses. Savouring delicious food, listening to your favorite music, buying new fragrances for yourself and enjoying the beauty of the world around you.
– You have understood that bad phases are as temporary as good ones. And you no more feel scared of things that used to scare you before.
– You have started to smile often, and sometimes without a reason too!!
– You are ready to chase your dream, once again!
There could be deeper and deeper levels of emotions that can be discovered. So don’t keep them hidden, rather continue opening one layer after another.
"Instead of drinking it away, smoking it away, sleeping it away, eating it away, or running from it. Just sit with it. Healing happens by feeling" - Unknown