Have you ever talked to a mirror? Like before a big interview or an important meeting? You might have rephrased what you are going to say and how, looking at your own reflection. At work, if you don’t get desired result, do you take a step back to think about what you might have missed or what is it that you could have done differently? It helps right? Why?
This is self reflection, an art to bring your consciousness from around to within. And if this practice is so helpful during the major events, can it also be helpful in living a better life? Can you really become a better version of yourself by practicing self-reflection?
But before we answer that, what is self-reflection anyway? So basically, self-reflection is like looking at yourself with an external eye, paying attention to our thoughts and listening to our innermost self. Also, it’s a practice that helps you to understand the impact you make on others and at the same time how you get impacted by them.
How self reflection helps
Know yourself
When you take a pause to look inside you understand your true emotions, fears, conflicts, motivations and distractions. So essentially everything that you know does exists somewhere but you haven’t paid any attention to. And when you watch yourself closely, you actually understand why you behaved in a certain way. Henceforth, can also introspect the possible reasons behind that behaviour. This realisation in turn helps you to manage yourself better the next time.
A different perspective
A new eye sees with a fresh perspective. When you watch yourself as a third person you are able to see yourself in a bigger picture. This whole sense of new perspective brings upon a change in your approach by looking at the areas which were unexplored before. There are numerous opportunities of learning every day, all you need to do is to open your mind to options.
Learn to respond not react
Many a times our response to a current situation might be a result of what happened in the past or something else troubling our mind already. So instead of responding we react, and often regret. But if you are in your journey of self discovery, you would be mindful of your triggers and how your mind works. You would be aware of your inner struggles and be able to separate this situation in hand with past happenings or other problems you are dealing with. Thus, instead of reacting impulsively you would know how to respond meaningfully.
Understand yourself and others
Being self-reflective helps you to understand your role in a relationship, partnership or acquaintance. It helps you to acknowledge your true feeling for the people around you. You understand your behaviour towards the other person and bring your focus on how you are treating people rather how they are treating you.
Brings clarity
Exploring your strengths and limitations, separating your goals from desires, understanding the influence from surrounding, all these careful thoughts brings you clarity. Thus, you can differentiate ‘what you want‘ from ‘what you need‘. Also, you understand how and why are you being affected by someone or something. And finally what truly makes you happy.
How to practice self reflection
Grab a journal
Write down all that is running in your mind and then read it aloud. Mention about your behaviour, think and write about why you behaved so and how did it made you feel? Jot down all the questions and their possible answers. Write about your joys and sorrows, your mistakes and learnings. It’s true to say that your life reflects through your journals.
Spend some time alone
Go out for a walk alone or just sit quietly in your bedroom. Let your mind talk to itself. Listen to your own voice rather anything else. Spend a few minutes everyday to stop looking around and look inside.
Ask
Ask yourself mindful questions. Questions about your feelings, triggers, goals, desires; factors that drive you, your prized possessions, voids you feel in your life, best and worst moments of your day. Your relationships, how they make you feel, and how you make people feel around you. Answer to such insightful questions drives your focus inwards.
Don’t overdo
Self reflection is your conversance with self. It’s not to dwell on past or be critical about yourself. So don’t overdo it, or overthink. Just be mindful about your inner-self.
Self reflection isn’t about changing who you are, instead what more you can be.